It has been said "bad things happen to good people -- what matters most is HOW good people respond."
"The more noble goal is NOT to control or manipulate people with whom we disagree, it is to learn from them."
When you have responsibilty for a person's happiness, health, safety, and their life itself, the only acceptible goal is perfection -- the only acceptable effort is "your all."
"Whatever does not kill you makes you stronger." "If you have the right 'why' then you can put up with any 'how.'" (Friedrich Nietzsche)
Always remember that if you have a loved one in a home, and they do not suffer from dementia of any kind, and they are otherwise cognizant and competent, let them be the best judge as to how they are doing. It is, after all, their life.